Let me start by explaining that my sister is quite the fan of The Bachelorette. She watches this show religiously, and even goes so far as to claim to have first priority to the TV whenever the show is on (and what can i do but acquiesce to The Bachelorette?). As a result, I must confess that I have watched this show once or twice (no more) with my sister, partly as a way of bonding with my sister whom I love so much, and partly out of genuine curiosity to see what kinds of guys would actually think that they would find their true love on a reality TV show.
Thirty guys are trying episode after episode to win over the heart of some Canadain girl. Need I say more? I just don't see how any true man could ever want to watch this show, let alone be an actual contestant. Social suicide if I've ever heard of it. And yet, these guys get totally competitive on this show! The entire thing is laden with dramatic backstage fighting, cuts into each other's precious one-on-one time with the girl, and shocking insults that threaten each other's manhood (and I laugh: have they forgotten what show they are actually on?).
But the biggest schmuck of them all would have to be the host, Mr. Chris Harrison. This lucky guy gets to be the one who interviews these candidates and the girl at the end of every episode to find out more juicy details about all the drama that is going on after each episode is through. He's on TV right now while I'm writing this, wearing a suit with a light pink shirt and a matching velvety rose-colored tie, an outfit beffitting of the man-host of The Bachelorette, and he's asking Reid what exactly was going through his mind when he went back to Jillian and proposed after already having been rejected by her two shows earlier. If I were that host -- and let me tell you they would have to pay me some seriously big money to do that job -- I wouldn't let Reid get two words in because I wouldn't be able to stop myself from making non-stop jokes about his lack of emotional maturity (now that would be an interesting show!). But, I guess, whatever floats Chris Harrison's boat. We all have our dream jobs, and I suppose this guy's got his own fantasies.
Andrew's Advice for the Participants of the 2009 Season of The Bachelorette:
To the contestants: You all need to join the army, or become fireman, or move to Russia--anything that would prove to the world that you are, in fact, actually men.
To Jillian and Ed, the bride- and groom-to-be: Mozzletoff. Now let's see if we can make this marriage last a little bit longer than most Hollywood Reality-TV marriages, eh?
To the Host: Walk around with a brown paper bag on your head for the rest of your life... you are far off the beaten path, and you are a disgrace to your gender.
To America: Why do we stoop so low at times when we could be fast at creating more great shows like The Office, Planet Earth, or Curb Your Enthusiasm (a personal favorite, if you couldn't already tell from the bits of Yiddish I slipped in)? Let's channel our creative energies into something a little bit better than overly-dramatic reality TV, okay? Now who's with me?
To the contestants: You all need to join the army, or become fireman, or move to Russia--anything that would prove to the world that you are, in fact, actually men.
To Jillian and Ed, the bride- and groom-to-be: Mozzletoff. Now let's see if we can make this marriage last a little bit longer than most Hollywood Reality-TV marriages, eh?
To the Host: Walk around with a brown paper bag on your head for the rest of your life... you are far off the beaten path, and you are a disgrace to your gender.
To America: Why do we stoop so low at times when we could be fast at creating more great shows like The Office, Planet Earth, or Curb Your Enthusiasm (a personal favorite, if you couldn't already tell from the bits of Yiddish I slipped in)? Let's channel our creative energies into something a little bit better than overly-dramatic reality TV, okay? Now who's with me?
1 comments:
Personally, I was impressed with your ability to slip schmuck into casual conversation (which means a-hole btw, did you know that?). And, as a side note, I have no idea why Jillian chose Ed to begin with. The man wears short green swim trunks. You can't trust a man like that. She could have had Kiptyn... did you see him? But maybe Canadian girls are into green shorts. Who knows.
Regardless, The Office reigns supreme second only to Arrested Development of course.
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