I'm watching Family Feud on TV right now, and the host just asked this guy...
"Name something that scratches you."
Wanna know what he answered?
"Uh... Hair."
What???
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Reality TV
I'm sitting here blogging while my sister is watching The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose. I couldn't help but put in my two cents.
Let me start by explaining that my sister is quite the fan of The Bachelorette. She watches this show religiously, and even goes so far as to claim to have first priority to the TV whenever the show is on (and what can i do but acquiesce to The Bachelorette?). As a result, I must confess that I have watched this show once or twice (no more) with my sister, partly as a way of bonding with my sister whom I love so much, and partly out of genuine curiosity to see what kinds of guys would actually think that they would find their true love on a reality TV show.
Thirty guys are trying episode after episode to win over the heart of some Canadain girl. Need I say more? I just don't see how any true man could ever want to watch this show, let alone be an actual contestant. Social suicide if I've ever heard of it. And yet, these guys get totally competitive on this show! The entire thing is laden with dramatic backstage fighting, cuts into each other's precious one-on-one time with the girl, and shocking insults that threaten each other's manhood (and I laugh: have they forgotten what show they are actually on?).
But the biggest schmuck of them all would have to be the host, Mr. Chris Harrison. This lucky guy gets to be the one who interviews these candidates and the girl at the end of every episode to find out more juicy details about all the drama that is going on after each episode is through. He's on TV right now while I'm writing this, wearing a suit with a light pink shirt and a matching velvety rose-colored tie, an outfit beffitting of the man-host of The Bachelorette, and he's asking Reid what exactly was going through his mind when he went back to Jillian and proposed after already having been rejected by her two shows earlier. If I were that host -- and let me tell you they would have to pay me some seriously big money to do that job -- I wouldn't let Reid get two words in because I wouldn't be able to stop myself from making non-stop jokes about his lack of emotional maturity (now that would be an interesting show!). But, I guess, whatever floats Chris Harrison's boat. We all have our dream jobs, and I suppose this guy's got his own fantasies.
Let me start by explaining that my sister is quite the fan of The Bachelorette. She watches this show religiously, and even goes so far as to claim to have first priority to the TV whenever the show is on (and what can i do but acquiesce to The Bachelorette?). As a result, I must confess that I have watched this show once or twice (no more) with my sister, partly as a way of bonding with my sister whom I love so much, and partly out of genuine curiosity to see what kinds of guys would actually think that they would find their true love on a reality TV show.
Thirty guys are trying episode after episode to win over the heart of some Canadain girl. Need I say more? I just don't see how any true man could ever want to watch this show, let alone be an actual contestant. Social suicide if I've ever heard of it. And yet, these guys get totally competitive on this show! The entire thing is laden with dramatic backstage fighting, cuts into each other's precious one-on-one time with the girl, and shocking insults that threaten each other's manhood (and I laugh: have they forgotten what show they are actually on?).
But the biggest schmuck of them all would have to be the host, Mr. Chris Harrison. This lucky guy gets to be the one who interviews these candidates and the girl at the end of every episode to find out more juicy details about all the drama that is going on after each episode is through. He's on TV right now while I'm writing this, wearing a suit with a light pink shirt and a matching velvety rose-colored tie, an outfit beffitting of the man-host of The Bachelorette, and he's asking Reid what exactly was going through his mind when he went back to Jillian and proposed after already having been rejected by her two shows earlier. If I were that host -- and let me tell you they would have to pay me some seriously big money to do that job -- I wouldn't let Reid get two words in because I wouldn't be able to stop myself from making non-stop jokes about his lack of emotional maturity (now that would be an interesting show!). But, I guess, whatever floats Chris Harrison's boat. We all have our dream jobs, and I suppose this guy's got his own fantasies.
Andrew's Advice for the Participants of the 2009 Season of The Bachelorette:
To the contestants: You all need to join the army, or become fireman, or move to Russia--anything that would prove to the world that you are, in fact, actually men.
To Jillian and Ed, the bride- and groom-to-be: Mozzletoff. Now let's see if we can make this marriage last a little bit longer than most Hollywood Reality-TV marriages, eh?
To the Host: Walk around with a brown paper bag on your head for the rest of your life... you are far off the beaten path, and you are a disgrace to your gender.
To America: Why do we stoop so low at times when we could be fast at creating more great shows like The Office, Planet Earth, or Curb Your Enthusiasm (a personal favorite, if you couldn't already tell from the bits of Yiddish I slipped in)? Let's channel our creative energies into something a little bit better than overly-dramatic reality TV, okay? Now who's with me?
To the contestants: You all need to join the army, or become fireman, or move to Russia--anything that would prove to the world that you are, in fact, actually men.
To Jillian and Ed, the bride- and groom-to-be: Mozzletoff. Now let's see if we can make this marriage last a little bit longer than most Hollywood Reality-TV marriages, eh?
To the Host: Walk around with a brown paper bag on your head for the rest of your life... you are far off the beaten path, and you are a disgrace to your gender.
To America: Why do we stoop so low at times when we could be fast at creating more great shows like The Office, Planet Earth, or Curb Your Enthusiasm (a personal favorite, if you couldn't already tell from the bits of Yiddish I slipped in)? Let's channel our creative energies into something a little bit better than overly-dramatic reality TV, okay? Now who's with me?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Three Facts For You To Know
Fact #1: It is late, and I am very tired right now. This is somewhat disconcerting because I just told my visiting sister, Kimberly, that we are going to go to the gym together tomorrow morning at 8:00am. Must....sleep....
Fact #2: Earwigs (Order Dermaptera) are small bugs that got their name from the myth that they climb into people's ears and therein lay their eggs or tunnel into the brain. Earwigs also have two penises! Both are larger than its body and it needs the second one just in case one of them snaps off! "It's an interesting phenomenon," says Mike Siva-Jothy of the University of Sheffield, UK. He thinks there must be some evolutionary advantage to the earwig's "unusually long" and fragile organs.
(It's true! I read it on http://www.interestingfacts.org/ !)
and...
Fact #3: Hailey Sutterfield is the coolest person in the world because she called me today and wanted to talk to me to find out how life is for me here in Los Angeles. Unfortunately we didn't get to talk to each other for that long, and unfortunately our rendezvous plans of calling each other back at 9:30-ish didn't work out for some reason. But nevermind the facts! It was just such a relief to hear the voice of such a good friend.
Hailey Sutterfield is an incredible person.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Vacations Vacations Vacations!
My fellow Americans:
I just got back from a week-long trip to (basically-speaking) Yellowstone and Jackson Hole. All in all it was a very good trip!
(And lots of kissing from my brother Tim and his fiancee, Dani).
Lots of river rapids. Lots of geysers. Lots of card games. And lots of stereotypical Japanese tourists.
(Is 'lots' a real word?)
Unfortunately -- and I mean very unfortunately -- I left my camera in the rental car before I left to board my flight at the Salt Lake International Airport. That's a major bummer, not just because it was a good camera, but also because it had half of the millions of photos I took on this trip (the other half already having been downloaded onto my dad's laptop, thank goodness!).
But don't cry. The car company says that this happens at least ten times a day in their business, and that they can ship it back to me on Monday.
So.... Pictures soon! For now, let this generic picture I found on Google Image Search of one of the waterfalls in Yellowstone sort of leave you wanting more:
I just got back from a week-long trip to (basically-speaking) Yellowstone and Jackson Hole. All in all it was a very good trip!
I saw:
Lots of buffalo. Lots of elk. Lots of my two sisters laughing. And Lots of my two step-brothers teasing.(And lots of kissing from my brother Tim and his fiancee, Dani).
Lots of river rapids. Lots of geysers. Lots of card games. And lots of stereotypical Japanese tourists.
(Is 'lots' a real word?)
Unfortunately -- and I mean very unfortunately -- I left my camera in the rental car before I left to board my flight at the Salt Lake International Airport. That's a major bummer, not just because it was a good camera, but also because it had half of the millions of photos I took on this trip (the other half already having been downloaded onto my dad's laptop, thank goodness!).
But don't cry. The car company says that this happens at least ten times a day in their business, and that they can ship it back to me on Monday.
So.... Pictures soon! For now, let this generic picture I found on Google Image Search of one of the waterfalls in Yellowstone sort of leave you wanting more:
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Pizza Pizza!
Los Angeles is a very cool place because it offers some of the craziest foods . . . like this HUGE pizza!
Monday, July 13, 2009
New colors
People,
I will not try to pretend like I don't change my mind a lot as far as my blog design is concerned. I realize that the picture behind the title clashes a bit with the green for this background, and I realize that some of the earlier posts now look funny because the color schemes matched the former dark blue. Well, let's just be at ease with this: I'm in the experimental stage. My blog is still in Junior High, trying to find out who it really is, changing constantly. One day it might have a cool blue background... the next day it's changing its name... the next day it's trying out for the soccer team... and the next it's joining the chess club...
Ah, nastalgia...
I will not try to pretend like I don't change my mind a lot as far as my blog design is concerned. I realize that the picture behind the title clashes a bit with the green for this background, and I realize that some of the earlier posts now look funny because the color schemes matched the former dark blue. Well, let's just be at ease with this: I'm in the experimental stage. My blog is still in Junior High, trying to find out who it really is, changing constantly. One day it might have a cool blue background... the next day it's changing its name... the next day it's trying out for the soccer team... and the next it's joining the chess club...
Ah, nastalgia...
-- And now --
FORTUNE COOKIE TIME!
Click here to read your fortune (and other peoples'). You will enjoy. And check out his blog while you're at it. I've never seen this man before in my life, but my friend has, and she says he's pretty funny. I happen to agree.
Click here to read your fortune (and other peoples'). You will enjoy. And check out his blog while you're at it. I've never seen this man before in my life, but my friend has, and she says he's pretty funny. I happen to agree.
Con amor,
Andrew
Andrew
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