Meet my boss, Jeff W. Lane, Esq. But no one calls him that. He would shoot anyone who called him that. He's just Jeff. He's from Manhattan, and he's very proud of it. He's a very strange guy in many ways, I'll admit, but he's the nicest guy in the world for giving me the job I have. Let me tell you a little bit about my boss: he's way, way, way into politics. (And that's understating it.) We literally spend about 1/3rd of our work day discussing what "really" brought down the World Trade Towers (President Bush, believe it or not), how terrible it was for Bush to bring us into Iraq, and what crazy a big mother fucker Bush was (his words, not mine -- although I'm not his biggest fan either). Another thing, this guy is the very definition of old-school. Even though he has to draft million-page documents all day every day, he does so by punching it out with two fingers -- just like he used to with a type writer "back in the good ol' days." (Remember those?) In fact, he the default font on his computer is Courier, just like on a type writer. (I've come to love it, actually, and that's why this post is all in Courier.) Sometimes he sits back just lets me do the typing for him while he dictates because the whole office can work about ten times faster that way. It's pretty crazy. And he never uses the mouse. Never. This guy's all about the keyboard shortcuts. In fact, he gets upset when I even reach for the mouse. It may sound strange to the average blog reader, but to me my job is incredible, and all of these little things make my job that much more entertaining. The coolest thing about my boss? His dress code is strictly jeans and a t-shirt. He would probably fire me if I were to show up in a shirt and a tie. And if a client doesn't like the way he dresses, he just refuses them service.
Enough about my boss. What do I do, exactly? I help to draft wills and trusts and other legal documents people pay lots of money for. And then I edit them. And then I edit them again. And then I edit them a third, fourth, or even sometimes a fifth time. Why? As my boss always tells me in his thick New York accent: "It's gatta be poyfect, Andrew. They don' pay me for futzin' aroun' heeya." And much of the time I get to just sit and listen to my boss yell at some moron-of-a-client on the phone (again, his words, not mine), or maybe even yell at his phone because he has AT&T and AT&T doesn't get service anywhere. It's all very entertaining. My co-worker, Christian, and I often find ourselves sitting back and laughing at how crazy our boss is. It's the best job.
And that's what life is like for me Monday through Thursday, 12:30 pm - 6:30 pm. Just in case you were wondering.
1 comments:
Actually. I was wondering. And actually, guess how I learned how to type, huh huh? That's right. On a typewriter. And you know what? I don't what he's talking about. We learned to type using all our fingers on the keys. My typing teacher was the referee for American Gladiators and he would blow his whistle at us if he caught us using our two fingers. And if we said it went faster using two fingers, he would show us one of his. True story.
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