Thursday, January 7, 2010

Vacations Are Over

I don't write on this site as much as I used to. Lately I've been acclimating myself to school and all that entails. Is it possible to have as much homework as what these professors are giving me??? It feels like I haven't stopped to breathe since I set foot in Utah late last Saturday. And even this little "break" which I'm giving myself to write this post is not really guilt-free, since I still have to write in my Hebrew journal for 15 minutes before I go to bed (That's right - I'm taking Hebrew 101) (Don't ask why).


School is difficult. This semester I'm trying new things. Instead of taking only GE classes and religion classes, I've decided to focus on classes for a major. I'm really unsure of what I want to do, though, and that presents me with quite a problem. I have seriously considered the idea of going to medical school, but then I sit down and say to myself, "But am I really all that interested in medicine?" Then I assure myself that, yes, I am, and that I should stop thinking and focus on finishing my Chem 105 homework. But then I say, "But am I really all that interested in science?" And then I tell myself that in high school I really enjoyed chemistry and physics, so why not major in something that I've tried out and know that I love? But then I say, "But just because I enjoyed the science in high school, does that mean that I really should major in one of the sciences?" Then I start to question everything. My brain explodes. I consider being a physicist. Then a sociologist. Then an Ancient Hebrew scholar. Then a professional rock climber. I start thinking about my brother Tim, who is majoring in Comparative Literature, and who wants to go into Law. I tell myself that Law is also very interesting, and that perhaps I should try being a lawyer. But then I remember that I've already taken way too many unnecessary courses in school, and for me to try yet another semester to figure out what I want to do with my life would be foolish since I've already wasted so much time going in so many different directions.

And so I go back to the idea of med school. And sigh.
School is indeed very difficult. I envy those who have known what they want to do since they were a little kid.

WHY GOD? WHY?

5 comments:

karlee said...

well at least you know you are definitely not alone in this.

Allie said...

Have you prayed about it? Have you considered how many things you can do with just a bachelor's degree? Even if you don't go on to be a doctor, you can still do things with your degree.

I'd say look at the smaller picture rather than the bigger. I get too much anxiety when I start thinking ahead.

Streetlights94 said...

With all the classes you have taken you always be one of the guidance counselors who suggests classes and majors to other students. You should look into that. Or just major in being a Renaissance Man.

Andrew said...

You guys are the best.

taraya said...

Hey Andrew.
I'm jealous you're taking Hebrew. That's pretty much all I have to say...sorry I can't offer deep and penetrating advice about school. But, if nothing else, you'd make a good writer. Good luck!

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